Should We Have a Baby?

Should We Have a Baby?Mat and I have struggled with this question since the very beginning of our relationship.  When he asked me to marry him on our 1-year anniversary, my response was not a teary-eyed “yes” but a matter-of-fact “you know I want a baby, right?”.  From that day, we spent years stuck at an impasse that caused us anxiety and frustration.  We even broke up for a couple of weeks once, after declaring ourselves unwilling to compromise on the baby issue.

Meanwhile, some of our friends and family members have had beautiful children and others have decided not to.  Some have struggled with fertility problems and others have struggled with their partners.  The decision to bring another person into the world is big, in fact, it may be the biggest decision we make in our entire lives, which might explain the power it has, to bring us together or tear us apart.

After years of arguing, we finally started to listen to, and understand, each other’s different viewpoints.  We discussed the pros and cons of having, and not having, a baby and realized that there could be happiness and hardship in both situations.  We also realized that we had less control over the decision than we thought; we might decide to have a baby and find out that we can’t conceive, or we might decide not to have a baby and then get pregnant unexpectedly.

We managed to overcome this incredible hurdle in our relationship by letting go of our perceived control over the situation, by truly acknowledging our individual concerns and by learning an important life-lesson: that we should look for happiness in all directions.

Today, Mat and I remain undecided on the issue but it is no longer a point of contention for us.  We’re able to relax knowing that we’ll be happy no matter what we decide.

Take care,

Danielle

55 thoughts on “Should We Have a Baby?

  1. Nina Wolf

    For some reason only the first half of my comment was posted. There’s supposed to be a smiley at the end and I said I hope the two of you will always be happy, no matter what! Love you guys

  2. Darshan Stevens

    Alex and I are strongly 50/50 on the issue. We strongly want one and then we strongly don’t. Or when Alex yearns for a baby, I don’t want to do that to my body. When I know that I’m ready, he falls into doubt about it ’cause it becomes more dangerous to yearn for one when I am open to it. We are very clear, however, on one thing: We both want a puppy!

    1. Danielle Post author

      Darshan, it’s good to know that we’re not the only ones who are “strongly 50/50!” It sounds like you guys are doing a good job of navigating the issue together, which is amazing! A puppy does seem like an excellent compromise ;)

      1. Katherine

        In my experience it’s couples like you, Danielle and Mat, and Darshan and their partner, who should have babies. That you are moved to thought and planning for such a truly unique and important commitment/experience shows you are well prepared to handle the basic responsibility; but more importantly the emotional and intellectual advancement of your offspring, of which they and our species are in such deep need.

        The movie Idiocracy, unfortunately wasn’t a joke.

        1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

          Hi Katherine, thank you for sharing your thoughts about having babies with us! I haven’t seen Idiocracy yet but I will check it out :)

  3. Geoff

    I’m not going to tell you what to do. This is just my opinion (and it might be different next week!).
    I think westerners put too much thought into this, the culture being so far removed from living in nature. We are mammals, part of nature. Having offspring is how our species continues and has done since it first arose. Simple. Being emotional animals it is too easy for our decisions to be affected by fear. The joy and love a child brings will outweigh the perceived onerousness of “responsibilities” or loss of freedom.
    Good luck whatever you do! G xx

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you for weighing in, Geoff! I completely understand your opinion because I often feel that way myself, but then my Western brain takes over and analyzes everything to pieces and it doesn’t seem so clear. For now, we’re happy, and that’s all that counts! I hope you’re doing well! xox

  4. Una

    Danielle…you write beautifully and I love what you write about. What you described pretty closely echoes Brett’s and my process and current feelings on the topic: undecidedly content – and it was not easy getting there! I feel people often try and convince you that you will not regret the decision to have kids, but if we have doubts, maybe this path is not one everyone should take, why let it be the default and assume it’s what everyone wants. As you said there are many ways to find happiness and not everyone’s idea of this is the same. Considering we live in an already overcrowded world it seems we should be weighing the decision to have children as more than the next step.

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you so much, Una! You are such a sweetheart!

      I’ve often felt that you and Brett + Mat and I were on similar paths so it doesn’t surprise me that you’ve both reached a similar state of undecided contentedness towards the baby issue.

      It would be nice if it was more common for singles and couples not to have babies so that we could have a better idea of what both lifestyles are like, and also because that would make it feel less risky to choose not to have kids. Right now, it feels like there is a perceived “right” and “wrong” way to live your life, and it doesn’t feel good to be judged if you’re not on the same path as everyone else. xox

    1. Danielle Post author

      Stephanie, despite the serious nature of the blog post you shared, I couldn’t stop laughing and immediately re-read the article out loud so Mat could enjoy it as well. I’m happy to know that you’re part of the zero population growth cult and we may join you one day.

      Also, I now very much want to read “This Changes Everything”. I just finished “Flight Behaviour” by Barbara Kingsolver, which I think was a softer, prettier story about the effects of climate change. I think I’m ready to take it to the next level.

      Thanks for sharing xox

  5. Charlotte

    Danielle,

    I just wanted to say I so appreciated this entry. As soon as I read the title I was intrigued by the fact that this was going to contain some honest talk. One of the things I love about your blog is that your entries always carry a voice of openness and offer a very real perspective (along with loads of great information!).

    Life is messy but we don’t air our challenges with each other often enough. The decision to or not to have a child is in fact an incredibly difficult one. As a reader of yours it’s nice to know that you and Mat have challenges too (like the rest of us!) and learn a bit about your journey with that question. Your willingness to share it will only help the rest of us feel less alone in facing similar challenges (and more willing to share our own challenges with others too!).

    Thanks for being REAL with your audience :)

    Charlotte

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you so much for your kind words, Charlotte. It means a lot to know that you’ve found value in what we’re sharing here.

      I agree that being open with our challenges can have a positive impact on the people around us by making them feel less alone in their own struggle. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt a weight lifted off my shoulders when a friend or someone I know revealed that they were struggling with the same thing I was.

      Good luck with your decisions xox

  6. Greg

    Tough decision for sure! Lindsey and I have been on the fence now for over 9 years. One of the biggest things we are “waiting” for is to have the strong desire to have children. We sometime we think we should…other times not so much. Like a previous comment – we analyze it a lot! Maybe more than we should. Our fear is regretting not having kids when we are older…waiting for the strong desire to have kids keeps us from making the decision outright. Wish I had grand words of wisdom, but as you can tell…we can’t decide for ourselves :) Good luck and I’m sure things will work out regardless of which direction you guys decide on. Thanks for the post!

    1. Danielle Post author

      Hi Greg, it’s so nice to know that we’re not the only ones who aren’t sure what to do! We’ve been on the fence almost as long as you guys (8 years now). Maybe we just like fences?

  7. Hill

    So glad that I found you on youtube today and read your post. It is so nice to know that other couples struggle with this as well. I keep telling my hubby (and myself) that someday we will just KNOW that we want to have kids. It hasn’t happened yet though, and we try to let that be okay.

    How do you handle the emotional response to being around children and babies though? I trust myself that I don’t want children at this point, but when I’m around them I really do love their energy and the teaching moments, I find myself jealous at times.

    Best of luck!

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you for checking out our YouTube channel and reading this post, too! I’m so glad you can relate – it is so nice to know that we’re not the only ones who are stuck in the middle. Like you, we’re doing our best to be okay with it :)

      I do love being around kids – especially my niece and nephew because they look exactly like my brother and I did at that age and it’s pretty trippy! They’re so sweet and constantly learning and moving. In those moments, I lean more towards choosing to have kids. Then, on days like today when we are walking on a beach together I lean more towards choosing not to.

      Best of luck with your decision too <3

  8. Jaimie

    Hi Danielle! I found this blog from watching one of your YouTube videos on minimalism. I recently quit my job of 4 years after realizing that I didn’t want to live anymore if a miserable 40-hour work week was what living would entail. Some 40-hour work weeks might be okay, but this particular situation was becoming toxic. I’m single, so it’s definitely been an adventure getting someone to take over my apartment lease and going to live with my grandmother in another state while I start training toward another career. Hopefully an online one! I just skimmed your blog and thank you for writing all of these posts. They are immensely inspiring. And reassuring.

    I’m nowhere near minimalist living yet, but it’s something that sounds peaceful. I spent so much money in the last 4 years just to cope with the fact that I felt so miserable! I was running in place.

    Anyway, hi and thank you. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    1. Danielle Post author

      Hi Jaimie,

      Thank you for checking out the blog and for sharing your story! We can definitely relate to feeling trapped and unhappy in a 40-hour work week and we’re excited to hear that you’re already taking steps towards building a life that is more in line with your goals and interests :) Minimalism has helped us make more space in our lives for the things we really care about. The neat thing about it is that you can always go back to owning more stuff if you decide you don’t like it! Win-win!

      1. Jonathan

        It is so so true, Danielle, that more physical space can create empliness in life and less can actually be more in terms of mental and physical space.
        Your website is indeed an inspiration for me on my long path to downsizing ….

  9. Ginny

    As a woman quite a bit older (and with many regrets that my partner and I never made a decision) a time will come when it is too late to make a decision. So I urge you to confront head-on that by not deciding to have a baby, you are deciding in effect not to have one.

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you for sharing this comment, Ginny. I’m sorry to hear that you have regrets about not making a decision and appreciate you letting us know that we should probably choose one way or the other before it’s too late. We completely agree that we’ll have to make a final decision in the next few years, but the stress of that decision has considerably lessened now that we have agreed to make the best of both options. Thanks again!

  10. Megan

    My husband and I were married four years before we had our daughter. I was used to it just being the two of us, and I was afraid that adding a third person to our family would completely throw off the dynamic.

    Our daughter is two years old now, and she’s the best decision we’ve ever made. Things may feel chaotic at times, but the joy she brings to us as we care for her definitely outweigh the cons, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

    The funny thing is, I’m once again concerned about throwing off our dynamic with the thought of having a second child. However, I have to remember to have faith in the process, since the realization that everything remains wonderful came AFTER we had our daughter, not before.

    I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I’m not trying to convince you to have a child, because I think it’s okay if you don’t. I guess I just want to say: Don’t wait to have all the answers BEFORE you have a child, because you won’t. It doesn’t work that way. Having a child is a very scary change until AFTER the child is born.

    Take care!

    1. Danielle Post author

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Megan! It really does help to hear what everyone’s experience with having kids is, especially when people are honest about it like you! It sounds like you guys are having an amazing time with your daughter and it’s stories like yours that make us both lean towards having a baby. Take care and good luck with your decision to have a second child (or not). I’m sure you guys will find joy either way <3

  11. Diana

    Down in your blood and bones you want to become a mother. If you do you’re priorities will change. You won’t regret the changes. You won’t be able to stop the process. The selflessness of parenthood is entirely natural. None of it will feel like a struggle, or a sacrifice. Just know that it WILL happen. When you become a mother the life you’re living now will end. Twenty years on you’ll have amazing memories of all this beautiful roaming. You’re investing in those memories along every inch of every road you travel down today. You’ll have stories, & visuals & rich philosophies to share with your children, and grandchildren. I wish you both well on your ways.

    1. Danielle Post author

      Hi Diana – thank you for reading this post and sharing your thoughts about having a baby with us. I completely know what you mean about it being natural to have children. We definitely feel that tug but we also feel tugged in other directions at the same time. With all the choices we have these days it makes some things easier and some things harder <3

  12. Jason

    The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $500,000. That doesn’t even include college, birthdays, Christmas presents, school lunches, etc etc etc. Children can be a blessing but the economic reality of the world today is that most people simply can’t afford children. It is a huge financial stress to a minimalist to have a child. If you do decide to have kids I know you two will be amazing parents! Good luck to you either way!

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Jason, thank you for sharing that terrifying figure with us! I had it in my head that raising a child cost closer to $125,000 which is obviously way off the mark! I appreciate your input and agree that caring for a 3rd person with our small income and current lack of a home would not be ideal. Take care and happy exploring :)

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Thank you for taking the time to read this post, Dakota! The book you suggested sounds like a very interesting read and I’ve added it to my book list! Take care and happy holidays :)

  13. Katherine

    I’m new to both your blog and videos. Have you done a piece, other than this, which reviews what about your relationship makes the two of you so uniquely compatible and able to successfully live “on top of” one another? The rare admiration, respect, and love you have for one another is evident in your videos.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Katherine, thank you for asking (and for checking out our project). We haven’t done a post/video about our relationship but if I had to guess at a couple of the reasons why we’re able to live with and love each other 24/7, they would be mutual respect, lots of communication, letting go of our egos, the ability to entertain ourselves and to give ourselves “alone” time even when we’re together. I also think that when we choose to embark on a journey that prioritizes what we value, we are naturally happier, more content, more patient, etc. than we would be if we were not doing what we love. Thanks again and happy exploring :)

  14. Nairo

    Sounds like you’re giving this lots of careful thought – more people should.

    Before I married, I told my (now ex-)husband that I didn’t want children, and that I was unlikely to change my mind. If he could live with that, then we’d marry. He took some time to think about it but decided that would be ok.

    Ten years later he changed his mind, we’re now divorced. People encouraged me to ‘take a leap of faith’ and have a child, but it didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t want to contribute to overpopulation, I value my quiet and free time, and many other reasons kept me from having child. I have never regretted my decision to remain childfree. I will have many different experiences than parents – how can parents say that their experiences would be any more fulfilling than mine? They can’t. And I would never say mine are more enriching than theirs. Just different.

    Divorce rates are quite high – assume 40-50% for the sake of discussion. If you think you can manage being a single parent (assume the worst for a minute; you could end up divorced, or widowed), then maybe you really could do it. And that doesn’t even factor in any kind of special needs your future child might have.

    I certainly don’t mean to be a downer. Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Nairo, thank you for sharing your story. I am always happy to hear people’s opinions on the baby issue, but I especially like to hear from people who have chosen not to have children since they seem to be the minority in our age group. I’m happy that you’ve stayed true to yourself and that you value your life experiences as equal but different to those of parents. I aspire to have the same outlook regardless of which path we choose. Thanks again and happy 2016!

  15. Derrick

    It’s nothing to do with money, you can’t run a spreadsheet to decide to have a baby. I have seen relationships in silent misery because one of them wants a baby and the other with mind control is preventing it.
    If all people think it’s going to be a financial disaster, you, me or Sam down the road would not be here.
    I absolutely knew from an early age I did not want children and I was totally honest from the very start of past and my present relationship (currently 19 years).

    Honesty will prevent misery.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Derrick – thank you for sharing your thoughts on the decision to have a baby (or not). I agree that honesty is a huge part of any successful relationship and am glad it has helped you to enjoy such a long-term relationship :) Take care and thanks again for your comment!

  16. Steven

    I am fine with you having a child or not. According to the CIA World Fact book Canada has a median age of 41.8 years (Male 40.6 years, Female 43.1 years). The world may run low on resources very soon. If the aging trend continues by 2050 there will be an elder crisis in many parts of the world with many 65 or older dependents. This is an issue very few seem to be talking about. Since 2000 49 out of 50 states have crossed 40 for the median age so I’ve read. Some faith traditions or religions have specific views on having a child like my religion.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Thank you for being so open-minded and for sharing those stats with us. An aging population is definitely another thing to consider when deciding to have kids or not. We’d love to have the time and flexibility to take care of our parents as they age, too. Happy exploring :)

  17. Sr. Michele

    It seems like you have reached some better solution. I like the pure monastic way, now, after finding out how much the world needs. A sacred life partner is truly a blessing, also.
    You may find some interesting leadings and wisdom teaching on why not to bring a child to ‘mortal’ birth in this world.
    Also, If you are living on a plant based vegan type diet, you can certainly be growing to attain ‘being spiritually fruitful, and multiply spiritually’-even better, and no mortal birth and death to worry about.
    Saw some teachings in “The Acts of Thomas” or “The Book of Saint Thomas” where Saint Thomas goes to India, and also counsels a wedding couple. Also, another thought is in the Nag Hammadi texts, much good leadings and very interesting ….’Gospels of Peace ‘[discovered and also translated by Szekely, E.B.]. Yama’s too, could help, as being very chaste in this world helps attain the greater way of spiritually fruitful and multiplication ! Love All.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Wow, this is a long list of resources – thank you for sharing them, as well as your own thoughts on having children. I love to hear about new and different reasons why people choose to have, and not have, children. Peace!

  18. Kurt

    Our child was unplanned, meaning we weren’t trying to have one. I was actually angry at my wife when she told me she was pregnant because I relied on her telling me when the time wasn’t right to have sex. It wasn’t that I didn’t want children, but I wanted to finish my degree. We weren’t that young, so in hindsight it was probably better that we had our child when we did. It took me about 3 more years after our child’s birth to finish a degree I had started 20 years earlier (another story).

    I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had with my child for anything. Based on my experience, kids are pure joy when young, and then can be a pain in the rump when they become teenagers.

    Having a child costs money. We were both working, so we placed our child in day care which cost a fair amount of money. Then there’s the pressure of having your child involved in sports. We didn’t get too caught up in that fortunately, because our child wasn’t that gifted athletically.

    Just one more thought to consider…some day you and Mat will be old, so who will take care of you if you don’t have at least one child? Having more than one is better so that they can share the responsibility of caring for one or both of you if needed when you become older.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Kurt – thank you for sharing your honest experience with having a child. It’s always nice to hear about the good and the bad!

      A lot of people ask us about who will take care of us if we’re old and child-less. I suppose there’s no guarantee that our children would be living in the same city or country as us, or that they’d be in a position to help us out if they were. We’re pretty comfortable with the idea of taking care of each other, and since we have a pretty solid public health care system in Canada, we’re pretty confident that we’ll be taken care of even if we don’t have kids.

      Thanks again and happy exploring :)

      Danielle

  19. Paula Frazee

    I’m late responding – but just read this post. In the interest of full disclosure, I’m 61, have two children – one when I was 28 and one at 30. I highly recommend having children later like we did. It gives you time to prepare financially and strengthen your relationship. Looking back I am very happy with the way our life in regard to finances, travel and having children worked out. Like you, we did not follow the “normal” path. When we married, we mapped out a financial strategy so that we could still travel, have money for experiences – not stuff – and have children if it was in the cards for us (lots of infertility in my family.) We resolved to live debt free as much as possibly and both of us worked full time for five years to save money to buy a house – while living in the cheapest (yes, it was pretty awful, but cleanable) apartment we could find. We drove older used cars. Our only splurges were travel – and we tend to camp (in a van) so our travel is not the high end type. In five years we saved enough money to buy a 900 square foot fixer upper and pay it off. Then we spent the next five years fixing it up with the money we weren’t spending on a rent or mortgage. Yes, for those ten years we were not living in a gorgeous house. But we were having a good life and could afford for me to stay home with the kids and we could still travel and take ski and canoeing trips. It was really the same idea that you have hit on with the van – saving on crazy housing costs. It was easier back then, because costs have escalated much more than salaries. But I think it would still be doable now – no kid really needs to grow up in a McMansion. They need time with their parents and experiences that expand their horizons. I did work part-time when they were out of grade school to help save for college/university tuition. Now we are rehabbing houses and renting them out for income in retirement – houses exactly the size of ours (right in our own neighborhood, in fact). You can have a good life without taking on a huge mortgage and relying on the government or stock market for your retirement. And kids, too, if you decide you want have them. I agree with the person above who mentioned that with your thoughtful approach to life, planning and decision making skills, you would be excellent parents if you want to be.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Paula, thank you for sharing your story! It sounds like you and your partner did a lot of careful planning throughout your lives to ensure a good balance between fun and practicality. I’m so happy to hear that it worked out for you and that you had kids, travelled, and invested without having to go into debt. That is very rare, and very inspiring :) Thanks again and happy exploring! Danielle

  20. Heather

    Hi, I also love your thoughtful posts.

    My husband and I were married late in life (30s) for the first time. Neither of us felt the pull to have kids, even though we were surrounded by the usual “pitter patter, let’s get at er” annoyances. Yes, people can’t seem to grasp the concept that not everyone wants to have or should have kids, and that’s definitely okay. We did discuss it and ask a few friends their opinions on the matter with mixed reviews.

    I used to commute on a bus with several other people every day from living in the country to working in the city. We spent this hour each way chatting to and fro. Once, the topic of kids came up. Not one of these people who had chosen to have kids said that they were happy with the decision. In fact, all of them said, that if they knew then what they knew now, they would not have done it, even though they loved their kids very much. I found this surprising. I’ve since seen this sentiment repeated many times over.

    Sadly, society often treats you as an outcast if you choose to not join in with the Walmart crowd and pop out a bunch of kids without too much thought. :) ( I know, that was pretty rude of me but I couldn’t resist.) Now, even in my mid 50’s I was asked even tonight by someone at work why I don’t have kids. Honestly, I would have thought this question would have been finished by now. People assume you are selfish, have lots of money to spend on yourself, ….. I think it’s actually more selfish to want to produce little images of yourself to take care of you in old age, or whatever else the reasons might be. (Nasty again, I know.) The best answers to this question I’ve heard:

    1. You are asking me about my sex life and that’s private.
    2. When you have kids, you invest in their lives. When you don’t, you invest in the lives of others.

    Best wishes on your decision, whatever it may be. Don’t let the pressures of society sway you. As one poster said, adopting is the most unselfish way, if that’s what you yearn to do.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Heather,

      Thank you for this super thoughtful and honest response to our blog post about having babies. I really appreciate it and had a few good chuckles at your supposedly “rude” comments. I just think you have a good sense of humour and we all need to be able to laugh at ourselves once in awhile right?

      I’ve been ruminating on your reply since I read it :)

      Take care and thanks again!

      Danielle

  21. Dean

    Best thing I ever did was have my sons and I did not really want kids, well at least I never felt ready anyway. I think often the best things in life come from diving in and not thinking to much. Looking at your philosophy and lifestyle it seems to me you would understand that children have been made into a commodity they have been packaged up and sold back to us like everything else. When people state that children are expensive that is highly objective. I am yet to meet a toddler who is a consumer they are made this way by their parents and extended family.
    Young children are the embodiment of self contentment toys are for the parents not the children the most important thing you can give a child is love and time and this has sadly been forgotten. Nature offers all the toys a child will ever need and I really do believe the way we live is rapidly coming to an end and a new way must be found. People like you are leading the way and if people like you can’t have children then really we are doomed because people like you are the future.
    Also be careful which ever decision you make as time goes so fast and before you know it the decision is made for you.
    My Father recently died of Cancer and this horrible experience really taught me the value of family because when everything else falls away its what is left and its the only real thing we have of any value in this life.
    Follow your hearts and the correct path will present itself.

    1. Danielle Chabassol Post author

      Hi Dean – this is a very powerful response to our blog post about having children and I really appreciate you sharing your experience with having kids, and with realizing that family is the most important thing we have in this life. I completely agree and will be mulling over your thoughts today and probably for a lot longer than that!

      Take care and happy exploring :)

      Danielle

  22. Jonathan

    I can deeply understand the dilemma of wishing to have a baby vs. the actual setting that any baby required for a healthy growth. I am only suggesting another way of thinking … not criticizing or advising.

    Let me suggest another way to tackle this long ongoing discussion. There are so many children who live in appalling conditions, either financially or under neglect. It is therefore important to tackle the issue from the child point of view! Not only the parents! Will our future child have a fair chance for happiness and prosperity while we the parents work endless hours, are confined to small living space, being far from the greater family, living under financial constrains and so on ….
    Parents’ happiness and satisfaction of having a child is important, but so does the child prospects for a brilliant future.

    Things to consider: Will your child be happy from your nomadic way of life? Would you be willing to change it if he/she doesn’t?

  23. Susann

    You two should have a baby! You will see: It’s your life lessons’s learned as a couple while traveling but on a much higher level. Children don’t bring peace and happiness, that is a wrong assumption in our modern western commercial coined life. Children give us new perspectives, life lessons every day, incredible strentgh and joy. You will turn into another person, meaning you will be the person that is already inside you but can only come into existence when you have children. I always knew that I wanted children. It didn’t fell like I had chosen that, it was a fact that was already decided. And for some years I didn’t feel like having them, because of all the troubles and the work they give you. I think my children chose me and they set the time for their arrivals. Who are we that we think we could make such big decisions of bringing life onto this earth? That must be something that just happens and we should let it. I have grown into a so confident, strong and (yes) cool person since I had my first child and I am very proud that I made it. I can’t wait to travel with the kids. Imagine that! Your lifestyle is perfect for having little stinkers. Love and laugh — Susann from Germany

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